Letter Fifteen:
Adam’s Role in the Family
My Dear Family,
A husband’s role in the family is defined by Adam’s role: to “work and guard/keep” the garden. These two words in Hebrew are used elsewhere to define the responsibilities of the priests in the sanctuary. “Adam” therefore is the “priest” of the home. It is the responsibility of the man to set the spiritual tone in the house, however spiritual his wife may or may not be.
The ideal for the man is to be in love with both God and his wife. A godly woman longs to see that God is the most important person in her husband’s life, and that he draws love and life from God to love her. When this happens, the woman will sense that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to her husband. A man cannot edify and encourage his wife too much. If a father is truly in love with his wife, that is all the children need to know to feel secure in the family.
By nature, a man presents a paradox to his children. As a father he is approachable, the gateway to God, the loving and protecting Father. On the other hand, there is something truly dreadful about fathers. The masculine is the scary side of the imago-dei, but necessary. Children should experience both love and a healthy fear from their dads and thus learn to love and fear God. If a father is all one and not the other, the child’s development is weakened.
Beyond this, a man must bring his son into manhood with intentionality. By nature, a male passes through the stages of boyhood, warrior, fatherhood, to wise elder. A father must bring his son into the warrior stage where he is strengthened physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually to prepare him for the fight of his life. Life is a battle, self-mastery essential, and eternal life is the desired prize.
A father has a crucial role in bringing his daughter into womanhood. He does this by protecting her and affirming her. Most males have, by nature, wolf-like tendencies. We do not hide our women in the back of the house nor shroud them when they go out in public. But they must be given the tools to function with strength and confidence in an environment that is hostile, physically and spiritually.
There is so much to develop with this topic; we encourage you to explore our Hungry for More section this week to learn more.
Yours in Christ,
Father John Worgul
Takeaway
As a husband and father, a man must always encourage and edify his wife and children about their beauty and worth.
Discussion Questions
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- Stereotypically, Catholic men leave the spiritual matters to their wives. To the degree that this is true, why do you think this is so? What happens when this occurs?
- What has your experience been of your father? Your husband?