Letter Twenty-One:
Celibacy in Priestly and Religious Life
My Dear Family,
Catholicism is all about family; indeed, for the Catholic, salvation is a family affair, not an individual, private matter. We have seen how crucial the father’s role is in family life in our previous letter, “Adam’s Role in the Family.” This, of course, links up to the ultimate expression of fatherhood in God our Father, for Jesus taught us to approach His Father like He did on earth. Like the domestic church, fathers are necessary in our ecclesial Church. Just as we need men to be genuine fathers in holy matrimony, we need real men who will rise to the vocation of priestly fatherhood.
In the Catholic Church, celibacy is a mandatory requirement for all priests, meaning they are not allowed to be married and must abstain from sexual activity as a part of their ordination vows; this is considered a “discipline” of the Church, not a doctrine, and is enforced across the Latin Church, with some exceptions for married men converting to Catholicism who may be ordained as priests in certain circumstances.
As a married priest, I have observed three types of celibate priests. The first are those who are celibate in name only but are not faithful in their private lifestyle. These are wolves in sheep’s clothing and are evil. Jesus warns us about them. The second are priests who are celibate but live perpetually in an existential crisis of regret and interior sadness. This makes them weak men and fathers. The third type embrace their call to celibacy as Jesus did, with joy and purpose. These are true men who effectively serve as fathers to their church families. Priests are not “happy bachelors;” they are authentic fathers who, like Jesus, give themselves for their sheep.
As a married priest, I often hear people, especially women, say, “So glad you are married; I wish all priests would be married.” What are they really saying? That it is unnatural to be celibate? That priests would be healthier if married to a woman? That being married keeps them from sexual temptations? These reasons are not valid and do not measure up to reality. Now, it is true that a married priest can relate better to families in some ways, but this does not in any way reduce a celibate priest’s authority to speak into the lives of their parishioners. These families need to hear the truth, whether from a married priest or a celibate priest. Like St. Paul, the celibate priest is far freer and more focused on their work than a married priest. I am glad I had my children grown and out of the house before becoming a Catholic church pastor!
Priests, just like our fathers in our homes, are “married,” but married to Christ’s Church, the Bride of Christ. They are to “guard and keep” the church, like Adam in the Garden, and our earthly fathers in the domestic church. The phrase “guard and keep” has a liturgical nuance to it in the Hebrew, for this was the responsibility of the priest under the old covenant in the temple. As a good husband works to bring his family to heaven, so do our priestly fathers, but on a larger scale. It demands a total self-gifting.
Finally, there is the vocation to religious life, or consecrated life, as a celibate brother or sister. In the great upheavals in the wake of Vatican II there was, at least in the western world, a wholesale emptying and closing of monasteries, friaries, and convents. This is a great tragedy of our times. This phenomenon directly corresponds to our disbelief in prayer, and prayer undergirds a healthy church and society, the absence of which is reflected in the chaos within and surrounding us. Fortunately, there are signs that some orders are renewing their numbers. Vocations to the priesthood and religious life will naturally flow out of healthy church cultures, and for this, we must strive.
Yours in Christ,
Father John Worgul
Takeaway
Celibacy is a voluntary and powerful commitment by those who choose religious life. Obedience to God’s call always brings profound joy.
Discussion Questions
- Did you ever consider religious life as a possible vocation? How did that play out?
- Why do you think so many people are clamoring for the option for priests to get married?
- What emotions do you think family members experience when their loved one chooses celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven?
- What do you think the celibate life of Jesus can teach singles about their sexuality?