Quick Links: Letter, Hungry for More, Moral Authority, Making the Connection, Further Reading, Next Steps
Hungry for More: Letter Four
What do we normally talk about around the dinner table? Sports, school, homework, entertainment? How often do topics of a moral and spiritual nature come up? If the answer is hardly ever or not at all, then there may be an elephant in your room. You and your children are being challenged through cultural institutions, friends, and media to think, feel, and act in ways that are not compatible with the mind, heart, and obedience of Jesus. Unfortunately, this may lead to fear and falsehood in your homes.
Many Catholics have an intuitive feel for what is right and what is wrong, but when our kids come home and say, “I heard ‘x’ today”, and you know that “x” is not right, we leave it unchallenged because we are not confident that we can speak intelligently about it. The more we delay our responses to our children, the more risk we take in potentially losing our children to the culture.
What does it mean to think theologically? What does this look like for us? We need to create a new culture in our homes. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 gives us a clear idea of what this looks like:
Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD alone! Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with your whole heart, and with your whole being, and with your whole strength. Take to heart these words which I command you today. Keep repeating them to your children. Recite them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them on your arm as a sign and let them be as a pendant on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates.
This beautiful cameo illustrates the intentionality demonstrated in the ancient Hebrew home. Catholicism builds on this by declaring that the home is Ecclesia domestica, that is, the “domestic Church,” as we see in the Catechism:
1656 In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the Ecclesia domestica. It is in the bosom of the family that parents are “by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation.”
The Family is also called a “privileged community” as children pick up knowledge by observation within the privacy of the home.
2206 The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members’ respect for one another. The family is a privileged community called to achieve a “sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children’s upbringing.” 11
We see the intentionality it takes to create a culture where God, Scripture, and doctrine are consistently presented to our children so that we can process with our family all they have encountered throughout the day. Our families are on the front lines. The church is here to help parents who are, and must be, the prime catechists for their children. If it doesn’t happen here around our table, it is unlikely that our children will receive it from the church. The Catechism picks up on the urgency required:
2221 The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.” The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.
Parents must embrace the task of evangelizing their children, and this cannot happen unless the parents are evangelized themselves.
2226 Education in the faith by the parents should begin in the child’s earliest years. This already happens when family members help one another to grow in faith by the witness of a Christian life in keeping with the Gospel. Family catechesis precedes, accompanies, and enriches other forms of instruction in the faith. Parents have the mission of teaching their children to pray and to discover their vocation as children of God. 35 The parish is the Eucharistic community and the heart of the liturgical life of Christian families; it is a privileged place for the catechesis of children and parents.
Rather than children being conformed to the values of our secular society by their secular peers or educators who have little or no sympathy for the Catholic faith, we must raise our children to be agents of change in our culture.
2207 The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.
2224 The home is the natural environment for initiating a human being into solidarity and communal responsibilities. Parents should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which threaten human societies.
2225 Through the grace of the sacrament of marriage, parents receive the responsibility and privilege of evangelizing their children. Parents should initiate their children at an early age into the mysteries of the faith of which they are the “first heralds” for their children. They should associate them from their tenderest years with the life of the Church. 34 A wholesome family life can foster interior dispositions that are a genuine preparation for a living faith and remain a support for it throughout one’s life.
All this, no doubt, seems so daunting. Yes, parents must be the prime catechists for their children, and the church is here to help. You are not alone, the church is your partner and by your side. The church will provide you with the tools in order to be successful. Together, we will continue to lead our children and families closer to God. This is the whole purpose of Bearing the Beams of Love.
Moral Authority
Sources for Catholic Teaching
Scripture References
Genesis 9: 1 And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.”
Matthew 24:45 Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master when he comes will find him so doing.
Catechism References
2204 “The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason it can be and should be called a domestic church”. It is a community of faith, hope, and charity; it assumes singular importance in the Church as evident in the New Testament.
2205 The Christain family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. In the procreation and education of children it reflects the Father’s work of creation. It is called to partake of the prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionary task.
2206 The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members’ respect for one another, The daily is a privileged community called to achieve a “ sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children’s upbringing.”
Vatican Documents
John Paul II. Letter to Families. Year of the Family, 1994. Hamden, Connecticut: Center for Integral Formation, 1994. Given in Rome, at Saint Peter’s, 2 February, The Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, in the year 1994, the sixteenth of John Paul II’s Pontificate.
In 1994, the United Nations declared the International Year of the Family. Pope John Paul II took this occasion to write a letter to families. He tells us that the family is the first and most important path that man walks. He describes his letter as an opportunity to knock on the doors of our homes and that he is eager to greet each of us and spend time with us.
Making the Connection
A Real-Life Example
Many families in our own parish are quietly and consistently doing the right things to infuse the word of God in daily activities and to foster a Catholic faith life in the family. One such family was interviewed in an effort to identify just how they do this. It starts with a strong faith shared by both parents. While every person’s story is different, the common thread is often a strong Catholic upbringing for the parents. The mom’s story is one where she was raised by strong parents who consistently demonstrated a belief in, and love of, God, and where consistent love and support for the children was demonstrated daily. She was raised with her older brother in the Sykesville/Eldersburg area and was a member of St. Joseph Catholic Church. They prayed together regularly as a family, and her parents strived hard to incorporate God into every aspect of their lives.
The dad grew up in a small town near Pittsburgh, where his parents had emigrated from Italy following World War II. The town had three Catholic churches, creating a very strong Catholic culture and influence in the community. His parents were very devout and faithful, and instilled a love of God and the Catholic faith in their home. His dad would sit in his easy chair and read the Bible every night.
Taking this strong foundation of faith with them, the mom and dad both went to college, and then wound up living in Columbia, MD. They did not know each other at this point, but they both started attending young adult events at the local Catholic church there. It was a wonderful experience for them both, and they became active in spiritual, service, and social activities through the group. They eventually met through these activities, and they started dating. They married and moved to Pittsburgh, where their first child was born. After traveling and living abroad extensively for work for a few years, they decided to switch jobs to allow them to focus on growing and nurturing a family instead of a career. This brought them to a new job back in Maryland, and eventually back to the Sykesville/Eldersburg area.
As their family grew to include three children, their focus remained on their Catholic faith and infusing God into their daily activities. Their faith was the center of everything they did. Their kids were very involved in many activities, such as scouting, sports, and other activities, but they always remembered that God is the center of everything, and everything good in their lives comes from God. They were never too busy to go to Mass on Sundays, sometimes attending between soccer games on a busy sports Sunday. Their lives were balanced but flexible, and they always made time for God. With the continued strong emphasis on making time for God from a very early age, their children never pushed back or objected to this focus, even as teens. It was just part of who they are. They always recognized that Mass just helps keep them centered in their lives. To this day, God continues to be a part of every conversation, remembering to turn to God for answers to life’s questions.
The kids all attended religious education regularly, and were confirmed. The mom helped out with these programs, and consistently reinforced at home the concepts being taught in the classes. The scouting programs that the kids were involved with were based out of Saint Joseph Catholic Church, so there was always a God-centered focus to the programs, with talks about God and service activities with religious based badges available. The dad and grandfather were involved with these programs as well. These activities were very important in exposing the children to other people in the community, including other children, with similar beliefs and Catholic faith, which helped to reinforce their beliefs and provided a stronger foundation of faith for the children. In addition, they had a lot of support in their faith from their extended family. There were, and still are, many siblings and cousins practicing their Catholic faith. It was very important for the children to see their relatives practicing their faith, helping to remind them of the role they play in continuing to pass their Catholic faith down from one generation to another in an unbroken line.
Regular, daily practices at home included praying before every meal, even in restaurants, incorporating religious statues and symbols throughout the home, praying together as a family, praying the rosary when going on trips in the car, steering their children toward friendships with other Catholic children, and making time to attend many events held at Saint Joseph Catholic Church.
Further Reading
Additional Reading Materials
Rolheiser, Ronald. Domestic Monastery: Creating Spiritual Life at Home. 2nd ed. Brewster, Massachusetts: Paraclete Press, 2022.
Drawing parallels between parenthood and monastic life, the author provides lessons, encouragement and hope for parents trying to embrace their vocation and “…grow closer to God and those around them…”.
Gallagher, Conor. The Architect: How to Start Building Your Family’s Ecosystem. Gastonia, North Carolina: Tan Books, 2025.
This book is a blueprint for parents to become the leaders of their family. The author states, “You can’t outsource the design of your family’s ecosystem…By building your family’s life with intention and vision, aligning purpose with virtue, you can begin to shape a thriving life for your family. Because if you are not leading your family, someone else will.”
Bishop’s Committee on the Liturgy, National Conference of Catholic Bishops. Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers. Washington, D.C.: United States Catholic Conference, 1989.
This book is one in a series of several published by the United States Catholic Conference. It is their hope that this book, along with the Bible, will be in every Catholic household and will be worn out with use. “This Catholic way – a way of daily justice, of service, and of care that is found around the family table and around the world’s wide table – is our baptismal charge. It is the garment we put on at baptism; we are clothed in Christ.”
Next Steps
Ready to Take the Next Step?
How can we help our families become more comfortable talking about difficult issues? Study, Prayer and Practice!
How can we distinguish between an opinion and Revelation? Study, Prayer and Practice!
📖 Study
If you do not feel comfortable with the level of your “knowledge” of the Catholic Church and her teachings, you are not alone! The good news is that it is never too late to learn! And today there are many opportunities to do just that. Besides joining an adult formation group as was suggested in a prior Hungry for More, here are some additional ways to learn more about your Catholic faith:
- The Bible in a Year podcast The Bible in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) – Podcast – Apple Podcasts Also available on YouTube, Spotify, Fireside, Ascension Press, and other podcast forums.
- The Catechism in a Year podcast The Catechism in a Year (with Fr. Mike Schmitz) – Podcast – Apple Podcasts Also available on YouTube, Spotify, Fireside, Ascension Press, and other podcast forums.
- Study the lives of saints such as St. Therese of Lisieux Oct 1 – St. Thérèse of Lisieux | Journey with Today’s Saint
💖 Prayer
Have your family use the words from Deuteronomy 6:4-9 as a prayer on a regular basis.
Lord help us to love you with our whole hearts, our whole beings, and our whole strength. Amen
✝️ Practice
Although it can be difficult to gather a busy family around the dinner table, the dinner table is the place where discussion naturally happens. When you can’t gather for dinner, intentionally find another time for family discussion such as before bedtime, at breakfast, or even in the car on the way to school and work. As far as what to talk about here are some pointers:
- “Heavy” topics don’t need to dominate the conversation. In fact, they should just be a part of the lighter conversation about everyone’s day.
- Listen to your kids for opportunities to dig deeper into areas of moral concerns.
- Focus on the Family provides age-appropriate questions to spark conversation
- Questions to Prepare Your Kids for Moral Dilemmas – Focus on the Family