Quick Links: Letter, Hungry for More, Moral Authority, Making the Connection, Further Reading, Next Steps

Hungry for More

It is critical that we address the challenges inherent with being welcoming and inviting toward people who identify themselves by their sexual orientation while encouraging them to maintain the healthy boundaries God has set before us. We have loved ones within our church, especially our children, who may be wrestling with these issues, and people outside the church whom we must love into our church. Fortunately, we are not left alone to answer these questions. Archbishop Lori has published a very important document titled Like Every Disciple …. This document begins with two very important quotes:

“… before all else comes the individual person, in his wholeness and dignity. And people should not be defined only by their sexual tendencies: let us not forget that God loves all his creatures, and we are destined to receive his infinite love.”

Pope Francis, The Name of God is Mercy

“…when we have fallen in love with Christ, our lives acquire a new horizon of hope that enables us, even now, to live differently, and to strive eagerly for holiness, that is, an ever-deeper participation in God’s Triune glory and self-giving love.

Archbishop Lori, Like Every Disciple…

While we review the salient points of this document here, we encourage everyone interested to read the document itself.

In the introduction, there is the crucial reminder that people who identify themselves by their gender are identified by the Church, first and foremost, as sons and daughters of God. Every human is called to embrace this identity and commit to “a lifelong journey of turning toward the Lord, seeking to know and love Him more and more deeply each day”. Everyone comes to Jesus from various cultural contexts, but all of their basic needs are the same. Mother Church reaches out to all, in Pope Francis’ words, with “nearness, compassion, and tenderness”.

This document echoes the very same phrase we have been applying in Bearing the Beams of Love, that God loves us all where we are and as we are, but loves us too much to leave us there. There is a tension in this statement, a tension of charity and truth. Our culture is stuck in an “either/or” dilemma that polarizes. The Church responds with a “both/and”. A person can be both homosexual and Catholic. This presupposes that this sexual identification is not the core issue, but being Catholic is, and to be Catholic comes with a commitment to Christ that makes everyone uncomfortable in one way or another.

The tension consists of being truly welcoming on the one hand and, on the other hand, “leading people to the fullness of life that flows from knowing the liberating truth about the human person that has been revealed to us in nature and fully in the person of Christ.” To achieve the first, we must be willing to listen to people, their stories, and their struggles. We must be able to sympathize with the rejection they experience, sometimes from Catholics themselves, and even some clergy.

Everyone must possess a profound desire to lead others, no matter who they are, to a higher place, and to want their good. We can do this by asking existential questions like, “What are we made for? What does it mean to be a human person? What is the meaning of sexuality? What is sacred about embodied nature?” These questions are not trick questions for a debate, but genuine questions meant to stimulate thought and honest reflection.

Those who minister to people with same-sex attraction and those who engage in the broader discussion must approach this tension holistically. Tensions are not easy to live with; it is easier to press one side at the expense of the other, truth over charity, or charity over truth. This can only be done through the power of the Holy Spirit who unifies. This is all the more important in this delicate matter of sexuality, which is so personal. Because of the inherent difficulties in maintaining a holistic approach, the Archbishop requires:

Any Parish engaged in any form of ministry with LGBTQ+ persons and their families must have my approval. Furthermore, Pastors and the leadership of these ministries must be in ongoing conversation with their Regional Vicar, Emmaus Team members, as well as the Coordinator of LGBTQ+ Outreach. They are a means of support to the parishes who seek to carry out these ministries with the holistic approach presented in this document.

The document continues with guidelines on how this special ministry must function. The following provides a concise summary of each of the guidelines.

Pastoral accompaniment:

Recognize the Reality of our Need. Everyone has needs, and various groups have unique needs. It takes humility to say, “I’m not OK, you’re not OK, and that’s OK.” But the fundamental need we all share is the same: union with God. This is the main thing, and we must always keep it the main thing and help each other keep it the main thing.
Show Compassion, Respect, and Sensitivity. As the Catechism tells us, and what we have discussed in our last three letters, it is a “trial” for those who experience same-sex attraction. We must create a safe place to work through the issues with love and sensitivity.
Must Journey Together in Light of our Calling. We are all pilgrims on a journey to the Father, and we must conform ourselves to Christ, who was chaste, and travel in obedience. We must be willing to change along the way in conformity to the Church’s doctrine, grappling with the teachings of the Church, and ministries must not aim at changing doctrine.
Has a Different Kind of Conversation. We, as Christians, are called “out of the world.” The “alternative culture,” which we discussed in the last letter, seeks to convert people through social justice venues dominated by intimidation and, often, the loudest voices. In the Church, it is Christ who heals the broken-hearted, converting us by love.
Must be Rooted in the Church. Those who minister must genuinely embrace the Church’s teaching on human sexuality, rooted firmly in the person of Christ Jesus and His mystical body, the Church. They must present the truth compassionately and not in “an aggressive or defensive way, but clearly, completely, and faithfully.”
Is Willing to Make the Long Journey. It is easy for those who uphold the truth of Church moral doctrine to try to “fix” people with same-sex attraction and become impatient with people who struggle with issues they do not feel or understand. Are we willing to walk the long walk with them with patience and love?

The document concludes with a famous quote from Augustine, who found in Christ what he failed to find elsewhere, “Late have I loved you, Beauty, so ancient and so new, late have I loved you.” We must all, whatever our issues in life, seek that which gives the authentic peace we all innately desire. Both Archbishop Lori’s Like Every Disciple and Bearing the Beams of Love are written in the same spirit: an unapologetic and joyful embrace of the Church’s moral teaching presented with the mind, compassion, and obedience of Christ and His love for everyone. It is not easy to live in the tensions presented here in this letter; it is easier just to “take sides” and leave it at that. But the Church never takes sides, but simply responds by presenting us Jesus, who is the way, the truth, and the life.

Reference

Archdiocese of Baltimore and Archbishop W. Lori. 2023. “Like every disciple….LGBT pastoral accompaniment.” Archdiocese of Baltimore. https://www.archbalt.org/lgbt-pastoral-accompaniment/.

Moral Authority

Scripture References

Leviticus 18: 22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.

Leviticus 20: 13 If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.

Romans 1: 26-27 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

1 Corinthians 6: 9-10 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Matthew 7: 12 So whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.

James 3: 9-10 With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brethren, this ought not to be so.

Titus 3: 2-3 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all men. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by men and hating one another;

Matthew 7: 1-5 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

John 8: 10-11 Jesus looked up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and do not sin again.”

Romans 12: 17-20 Repay no one evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends upon you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God; for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” No, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.”

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Look to yourself, lest you too be tempted.

1 John 3: 18 Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Vatican Documents

Persona Humana : Issued by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF), this document addressed broader sexual ethics, outlining the Church’s stance on premarital sex and asserting that homosexual acts lack the essential finality of procreation.

Male and Female He Created Them Issued by the Congregation for Catholic Education, this document rejected gender theory and fluidity, calling for an educational approach based on biological differences between the sexes and the traditional family model.

Letter To The Bishops Of The Catholic Church On The Pastoral Care Of Homosexual Persons This document reiterated the intrinsic disorder of homosexual tendencies but criticized violence and malice directed at LGBTQ+ individuals, while urging bishops not to support organizations that undermine Church teaching.

CDF on Homosexual Unions The Church teaches that respect for homosexual persons cannot lead in any way to approval of homosexual behaviour or to legal recognition of homosexual unions.

Pastoral Accompaniment Archdiocese of Baltimore

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Making the Connection

A Real-Life Example

Here we share a story to help people relate to the lessons by example. It may be a story taken from the internet, the tale of a saint, or an illustration taken from among our own church family

Loved One With Same-Sex Attraction? Come to EnCourage

Taken from: https://www.ncregister.com/features/loved-one-with-same-sex-attraction-come-to-encourage?utm_source=chatgpt.com]

FAMILY MATTERS: CATHOLIC LIVING

By Bernie S.

About 12 years ago, my wife and I received a letter from our son, who was then about 30. On the back of the envelope he had written that we should read it together. “Uh oh,” we thought, bracing ourselves for what it might contain.

He informed us that he was attracted to persons of the same sex, which he first noticed when he was in his late teens.

Not to worry, he assured us. He had been living a chaste life and intended to continue.

But about nine months later, he formally “came out” and told us that he would seek a partner. He has since had two partners and has recently separated from the second, after a seven-year relationship during which they were “engaged.”

All kinds of emotions and thoughts took over immediately: shame, fear and worries for his salvation and physical and spiritual well-being.

Our initial focus was largely inward: Where had we gone wrong in raising him? Did we dare share this “shameful fact” with anyone? What would family and friends think of us? What kind of relationship should we seek to maintain with him and a partner? What would this mean for his future life, for his career and for his membership with the Church? What would we do if he decides to get “married?”

The initial experience was very isolating. We told only our closest friends and family, some of them only after much time had passed. Our main recourse was to priest friends and confessors. We remain grateful for their good advice, which came down to “just love him.”

A couple of years passed, and then we saw a notice in our diocesan paper for EnCourage, an apostolate related to Courage, the Catholic ministry to persons with same-sex attraction (SSA). EnCourage serves the spiritual and relational needs of parents, siblings, children, spouses and other relatives and friends of persons with SSA.

To our great comfort — and initial surprise — we heard many stories like our own: of children raised in traditional Catholic households who, despite having attended Catholic schools and being taught about chastity as the path to holiness, identified and lived as “gay.”

We were not alone, after all!

We heard parents talk about their children in a calm and loving way, with obvious sorrow for their attraction and choices but filled with hope for their eventual salvation. Over the years, we’ve since seen many persons come in filled with anger and anguish about their children, often admitting to raising their kids in rocky and tumultuous, if not dysfunctional, environments. And, with time and the support of the EnCourage community, we have seen the anger fade, replaced with hopeful love, and relationships mend..

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Next Steps

Ready to Take the Next Step?

It is not a sin to be sexually attracted to those of the same sex. The Church makes it clear that this attraction only becomes sinful when a person gives in to temptation and performs sexual acts outside of marriage. Since marriage, by nature, must be between a man and a woman, sexual acts between same-sex couples are always a sin. How can we better understand the Church’s teaching on homosexuality? Study, prayer and practice!

📖 Study

Read the article, Like Every Disciple: LGBT Pastoral Accompaniment from the Archdiocese of Baltimore’s website. Here is a summary of Archbishop William E. Lori’s guidelines for ministry to LGBT persons and their families within the Catholic Church. The document tries to balance two goals: genuine pastoral care and fidelity to Catholic teaching.

LGBT persons are to be treated with dignity, compassion, and respect

The document repeatedly emphasizes that LGBT persons are “daughters and sons of God,” members of the Church, and deserving of love and belonging. It says ministries should avoid unjust discrimination and should offer a welcoming, safe place where people can share their experiences without condemnation.

Pastoral accompaniment means walking with people, not rejecting them

The article uses the idea of “accompaniment,” a term strongly associated with Pope Francis. The Church is called to listen to people’s stories, understand their struggles, and journey with them spiritually rather than treating them as problems to solve.

The Church’s teachings on sexuality are not being changed

A major theme is that ministries to LGBT persons must remain rooted in Catholic teaching about sexuality, chastity, marriage, and the human person. The document says accompaniment is not meant to advocate for changing Church doctrine.

Every Christian is called to discipleship and holiness

The document stresses that all people—not only LGBT persons—are on a lifelong journey of conversion and discipleship. It frames same-sex attraction and gender struggles within the broader Christian understanding that every person struggles and needs God’s grace.

Ministries should present Church teaching with charity and clarity

The guidelines say Catholic teaching should be communicated “clearly, completely, and faithfully,” but also compassionately and without aggression. The goal is to unite truth and charity rather than choosing one over the other.

The Church should support families of LGBT persons

The article recognizes that families often experience confusion, pain, or tension when a loved one identifies as LGBT. Ministry should also accompany parents and relatives with compassion and patience.

LGBT ministry must remain connected to Church authority

Parishes cannot independently create LGBT ministries without approval from the archbishop. Leaders of such ministries are expected to remain in ongoing dialogue with diocesan leadership and operate within Church teaching.

The document emphasizes a “long journey” rather than quick resolutions

The guidelines describe discipleship as gradual and sometimes difficult. They encourage patience, humility, ongoing dialogue, prayer, and trust in the work of the Holy Spirit.

💖 Prayer

[Adapted from the Prayer for Charity in Truth and The Prayer of Saint Francis]

Prayer for Charity, Truth, and Discipleship

Heavenly Father,
You created every person in Your image
and call each of us to holiness, conversion, and communion with You.

Grant us hearts filled with the compassion of Christ,
the wisdom of the Holy Spirit,
and the courage to speak and live the truth in love.

Teach us to accompany one another with humility and reverence,
never reducing any person to labels or struggles,
but seeing each person as a beloved son or daughter of God.

Help us to listen well,
to carry one another’s burdens,
to remain faithful to the teachings of Your Church,
and to grow together as disciples of Jesus Christ.

Give healing where there has been hurt,
peace where there has been division,
and hope where there has been discouragement.

May our conversations be rooted in prayer,
our friendships rooted in charity,
and our lives rooted in You.

Through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary,
St. Joseph,
and all the saints,
lead us ever closer to the fullness of life in Christ.

Amen.

✝️ Practice

The practical challenge we are called to address requires that we be able to hold together two convictions at once:

every person deserves love, protection, friendship, and belonging, and
Christian discipleship includes moral boundaries for everyone, not only LGBT persons.

Here are some concrete ways a Catholic might try to live this out in practice:

1. Build real friendships instead of reducing people to issues

Archbishop Lori’s emphasis on accompaniment suggests that LGBT persons should not be treated primarily as debates, symbols, or moral problems. A Catholic could:

maintain genuine friendships with LGBT family members, coworkers, parishioners, and neighbors
invite them into ordinary life: meals, holidays, parish events, service projects
listen before lecturing
avoid gossip, mockery, sarcasm, or treating someone’s struggles as “other”

This reflects the point in Fr. John’s letter that Christians must “shelter and protect, without condoning sin.”

A practical mindset might be:

“I do not need to affirm every choice a person makes in order to love them sincerely.”

2. Apply moral boundaries consistently to everyone

One important implication of Fr. John’s letter is that boundaries are universal, not selectively imposed on LGBT persons. A Catholic trying to follow this faithfully would examine all relationships, including heterosexual ones.

That could include:

setting healthy limits in close friendships
- avoiding emotional affairs with someone other than your spouse
- maintaining chastity outside marriage
avoiding pornography
practicing modesty and self-control
being honest about attractions and temptations

The letter repeatedly frames sexual temptation as something that can arise in many kinds of relationships:

men and women
men with men
women with women

A practical takeaway is:

“Christian sexual ethics require discipline from everyone.”

That prevents hypocrisy and reduces the tendency to single out one group.

3. Speak about difficult topics without contempt

The Archbishop’s article emphasizes communicating Church teaching “with charity and clarity.” In practice, that means avoiding two extremes:

One extreme:

harshness, ridicule, fear-based rhetoric, or treating LGBT persons as enemies

The other extreme:

pretending the Church has no moral teachings or avoiding truth entirely to prevent discomfort

A good Catholic response may sound like:

“I believe the Church’s teaching is true, but I also know following Jesus is difficult for all of us, and nobody should walk alone.”

That tone reflects both truth and accompaniment.

4. Recognize suffering honestly

Fr. John’s letter acknowledges that many LGBT persons experience rejection, loneliness, confusion, or persecution. The Archbishop’s article similarly calls Catholics to respect and compassion.

Practically, this means:

intervening against bullying or cruelty
refusing degrading jokes or slurs
supporting people who are isolated
recognizing mental and emotional suffering as real
avoiding simplistic explanations for people’s experiences

A Catholic can affirm:

“No one deserves mistreatment or humiliation.”

without concluding:

“Therefore every sexual choice is morally good.”

The letter explicitly argues those are separate questions.

5. Practice accompaniment as patience rather than control

The Archbishop’s letter frames accompaniment as a long spiritual journey, not immediate conformity. A Catholic trying to apply this practically might:

avoid constant correction or monitoring
allow trust to develop gradually
pray with and for people
encourage sacramental life without coercion
recognize that conversion in every area of life is gradual

This also means accepting that:

some conversations will remain unresolved
people may disagree
relationships may involve tension

The goal becomes faithful presence rather than “winning.”

6. Cultivate humility about one’s own struggles

The strongest application of both Archbishop Lori’s guide to pastoral accompaniment and Fr. John’s letter may be the call to humility.

The Archbishop’s article frames all Christians as sinners on a path of discipleship. The “Beams” letter repeatedly emphasizes that human desires can become disordered and difficult.

A healthy Catholic response, therefore, avoids:

self-righteousness
obsession with other people’s sins
treating LGBT struggles as uniquely grave or alien

Instead, a Catholic might regularly ask themselves:

Where do I violate boundaries?
Where do I rationalize sin?
Where do I fail to love?
How do I contribute to chaos in relationships?

That creates the conditions for genuine accompaniment rather than moral superiority.

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Hungry for More

Moral Authority

Scripture References

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Making the Connection

A Real-Life Example

Loved One With Same-Sex Attraction? Come to EnCourage

FAMILY MATTERS: CATHOLIC LIVING

By Bernie S.

Further Reading

Additional Reading Materials

Next Steps

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Prayer for Charity, Truth, and Discipleship

The practical challenge we are called to address requires that we be able to hold together two convictions at once:

every person deserves love, protection, friendship, and belonging, and

Christian discipleship includes moral boundaries for everyone, not only LGBT persons.

Here are some concrete ways a Catholic might try to live this out in practice:

1. Build real friendships instead of reducing people to issues

2. Apply moral boundaries consistently to everyone

3. Speak about difficult topics without contempt

One extreme:

The other extreme:

4. Recognize suffering honestly

5. Practice accompaniment as patience rather than control

6. Cultivate humility about one’s own struggles

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