Quick Links: Letter, Hungry for More, Moral Authority, Making the Connection, Further Reading, Next Steps

Hungry for More

By now, it should be clear to the objective reader that the Church is not “against” people or hates people because of their sexual orientation. The Church is, however, in direct conflict with the alternative culture that promotes autonomy and sexual orientations that are contrary to Jesus’ teachings, Scripture, and natural law. Christ’s kingdom is in conflict with systemic evil, not those who are caught up in it. The Church hates what the alternative culture is doing to the people it loves.

The problem the Church faces is that those who are part of the alternative culture tend to identify themselves according to a sexual orientation. An attack against this culture is perceived to be a personal attack. They cannot hear the words of love from the Church that, in their minds, is attacking them. The Church must make every effort to reach out and love our people, no matter who they are or how they identify themselves, and invite them back into the Church from which they feel alienated.

We will talk more about the challenges those among us with same-sex attraction have with Church doctrine and the challenges the Church has in bringing those with same-sex attraction into the fold in our next letter. Here, we will focus on cultures in conflict. It was stated in the letter that everything comes down to how we identify ourselves in the depths of our hearts. If we identify ourselves as God’s children in Jesus Christ, we enter into a culture formed by love and obedience to Christ.

Jesus, Holy Church, and Scripture never separate love from act. Love is obedience in action. It is popular in secular culture, and it has penetrated much of our general “Christian” culture, to define love as “tolerance of others.” Love indeed is, in fact, tolerant of persons, but as we have said before, Jesus is never tolerant of sin. The alternative culture demands that the Church embrace the morals and values it has created in defiance of the Church. Nothing is demanded of anyone except to be tolerant. This makes secular culture lord and master, not Christ. And in a strange and perverted twist, the Church is condemned for being unloving when it is Christ and His Church that brought and brings love to the world.

When Jesus encounters anyone and everyone, He always offers them a choice, and the choice is always difficult. Dietrich Bonhoeffer famously wrote, “When Jesus calls a man, he bids him come and die”. It is a death to living by one’s natural inclination and power. Jesus always respects our freedom to follow Him or not and is always clear that it will cost us everything. The only actual demand in the alternative culture is for each person to make a fundamental decision to be self-determining, a choice that never takes anyone anywhere, a freedom that leads to slavery. When you try to probe its meaning, it is amorphous; when you look for fruit, it is barren. When we follow Jesus, we enter a realm of “the greatest possible exaltation of human freedom.” It is a freedom that elevates us to our rightful place in the grand scheme of creation, our unique destiny as our benevolent Creator intended us to attain.

This freedom, as St. Paul tells us, is constantly threatened by slavery, slavery to sin that seeks to dominate us. He would undoubtedly say that homosexual culture, as part of the overall alternative culture, is not defined by true freedom, but slavery to immorality, or in the Church’s language, concupiscence. This is true despite the fact there may be plenty of genuine affection, passion, comradery, empathy, and many other such relational realities within this community. It is not defined by obedience but by self-determination, an autonomy that does not bring to the human soul what it promises, but leaves one, like Adam and Eve, exiled from the Tree of Life.

We are, therefore, speaking of a dark culture engaged in mortal sin. Homosexual acts are a “grave matter” done in “full awareness and deliberate consent … For mortal sin also exists when a person knowingly and willingly, for whatever reason, chooses something gravely disordered”. It is not a happy place and can never be such. On the other hand, all moral acts send us on a trajectory toward an end (Greek telos, meaning “end,” “completion,” and even “perfection” as described in Our Lofty Call in Life). Again, going back to the question of the rich young ruler, “What good must I do to have eternal life?” (Matthew 19:6) “immediately brings out the essential connection between the moral value of an act and man’s final end … Only the act in conformity with the good can be a path that leads to life”.

This telos has nothing to do with good intentions. The whole ethos of the alternative culture can arguably be described in terms of “good intentions.” Without Christ the telos of the voluntary act, even if it is noble, is not morally good, because it puts us in conflict with our Creator and his telos for His creatures and creation. We are not doing those who are so engaged in “intrinsic evil,” that is, “acts incapable of being ordered to God,” a favor if we shy away from warning them clearly of the telos of such practices. The Apostle says, “Do not be deceived: neither the immoral (Greek: pornoi) nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor sexual perverts (Greek: malakoi), nor thieves, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the Kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

As a culture, we must re-discover the clear and clean relation between true freedom and true love. There is no other place to look for this but in Jesus Himself. “The Crucified Christ reveals the authentic meaning of freedom; he lives it fully in the total gift of himself and calls his disciples to share in his freedom”. The purest act of love is the freedom to self-gift ourselves to one another. There are no answers to our human dilemma of sin and death in the alternative culture; it is darkness. In contrast, Jesus invites us to a walk in the light (I John 1:7), which is practically carried out by offering our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1), which may even lead to martyrdom. True love is so powerful it makes the lover willing to die for it as a witness of Christ’s love. Martyrdom is “an affirmation of the inviolability of the moral order” and the “outstanding sign of holiness in the Church”.

As you can see, the last two Hungry for More sections essentially provide a synopsis of St. John Paul II’s Veritatis Splendor (The Splendor of Truth). The clarity and courage of the Pope come out in this splendid encyclical that calls all of us to higher things. The alternative culture fears the truth, which inevitably creates conflict, thus disturbing the social utopia it wishes to create, founded on tolerance. Its telos is to conform the Church to its agenda. In effect, the alternative culture reverses Jesus’ teaching on “the narrow way,” making the narrow way the path of destruction and the broad and easy way the path to life (Matthew 7:13-14).

Having said this, there are well-meaning Catholics who genuinely believe these two cultures do not have to be in conflict but can and must be reconciled. What drives this is an eschatology, the part of theology concerned with death, judgment, and the final destiny of the soul and of humankind. It is built upon an optimistic view of modern science and human development. This eschatology views human history by an evolutionary model where all peoples and cultures are progressing, by human ingenuity, to peace and unity. They believe Catholicism, together with other faiths and religions, is essential in bringing this about, especially with its message of love. At the same time, they are very suspicious of and often reject the “traditional” elements in the Church, both liturgical and theological, that impede their eschatology.

Though the Catholic Church is open to modern science and advances in the realm of psychology, she refuses to yield her authority to an alternative culture that, in truth, is hostile to her and is figuring things out as they “progress,” working toward a fundamentally flawed goal. Catholics who are committed to reconciling the Church with the alternative culture are not necessarily “diabolical” as individuals but are naively committed to a cause that is evil because it rejects Church teaching. Their fear that the Church, unless it modernizes and conforms to the alternative culture, will die away, is faithless and invalid. The Church is built on Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, not human ideas.

The danger with this “progressive” mentality is succumbing to subjective feelings and intuitions, even laziness, which cuts us off from the hard mental, physical, and spiritual work demanded of true discipleship. This can translate into fundamental and obstinate disbelief in Jesus and the established doctrine of His Church, which is “the pillar and foundation of truth” (I Timothy 3:16).

Bonhoeffer, Dietrich. Cost of Discipleship. (New York, New York: Touchstone, 1995).
John Paul II, Veritatis Splendor: The Splendor of Truth, Encyclical Letter of John Paul II. (Boston, Massachusetts: Pauline Books and Media, 2003), 65
Ibid, 66
Ibid, 67
Ibid, 70
Ibid, 72
Ibid, 74
Ibid, 79-81
Ibid, 85
Ibid, 92
Ibid, 93

Moral Authority

Scripture References

Ephesians 4:17-24 Now this I affirm and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds; they are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart; 19 they have become callous and have given themselves up to licentiousness, greedy to practice every kind of uncleanness. You did not so learn Christ!— assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus. Put off your old nature which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new nature, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Luke 12: 32-34 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give alms; provide yourselves with purses that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Catechism References

1694 Incorporated into Christ by Baptism, Christians are “dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus” and so participate in the life of the Risen Lord. Following Christ and united with him, Christians can strive to be “imitators of God as beloved children, and walk in love” by conforming their thoughts, words and actions to the “mind . . . which is yours in Christ Jesus,” and by following his example.

1696 The way of Christ “leads to life”; a contrary way “leads to destruction.” The Gospel parable of the two ways remains ever present in the catechesis of the Church; it shows the importance of moral decisions for our salvation: “There are two ways, the one of life, the other of death; but between the two, there is a great difference.”

2221 The fecundity of conjugal love cannot be reduced solely to the procreation of children, but must extend to their moral education and their spiritual formation. “The role of parents in education is of such importance that it is almost impossible to provide an adequate substitute.” The right and the duty of parents to educate their children are primordial and inalienable.

2224 The home is the natural environment for initiating a human being into solidarity and communal responsibilities. Parents should teach children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences which threaten human societies.

Vatican Documents

Vatican documents on gender ideology, primarily driven by Pope Francis and the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, strongly reject “gender theory,” defining it as an “ugly ideology” that denies natural, biological sexual difference and challenges human dignity. Key documents include the 2024 declaration Dignitas Infinita and the 2019 text “Male and Female He Created Them”.

Dignitas Infinita (2024): Released by the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith, this document affirms that gender-affirming surgery and “gender theory” violate human dignity by attempting to change or deny the biological sexual difference assigned at birth. It argues that human life must be accepted as a gift from God, and attempting to “make oneself God” through such changes is a dangerous mistake.
“Male and Female He Created Them” (2019): Produced by the Congregation for Catholic Education, this document calls for dialogue but rejects gender theory, describing it as a “confused concept of freedom” that moves away from nature. It is designed as a guide for Catholic educators to combat the “educational crisis” surrounding sexual identity.

Veritatis Splendor

Veritatis splendor is an encyclical by Pope John Paul II. It expresses the position of the Catholic Church regarding fundamentals of the Church’s role in moral teaching. The encyclical is one of the most comprehensive and philosophical teachings of moral theology in the Catholic tradition.

Return to top of page

Making the Connection

A Real-Life Example

Here we share a story to help people relate to the lessons by example. It may be a story taken from the internet, the tale of a saint, or an illustration taken from among our own church family.

This is what authentically Catholic accompaniment looks like!

The Authentically Catholic and Surprising Response to LGBTQ+

Jill, a friend of mine, shared this story with me. She had attended a CRHP (Christ Renews His Parish) weekend and became close friends with Phyllis. Phyllis shared with Jill her sadness about her young adult daughter, Micah, who had left the Church because she was dealing with same sex attraction and was actively involved in a relationship with another woman.

Micah was very angry with God and the Church and could not understand why the church taught that this type of relationship was disordered. At this point she wanted nothing to do with the Church ever again. Jill felt sad for Phyllis and for Micah and prayed and fasted for both of them continually.

One day while Jill was praying the rosary during Eucharistic Adoration, she felt a very strong inspiration “to invite Micah to the Eucharist.” It shocked her and she thought, “Really, Lord? What am I supposed to tell her, come to Mass with me but you can’t receive Holy Communion?…”

She decided to ignore the inspiration for that reason but the inspiration became stronger and stronger. Finally, she decided to call Micah and ask her if she wanted to have a cup coffee with her. Micah responded right away that she did and so they met at Starbucks. The first time they met they talked for six hours. Micah poured her heart out to Jill and Jill just listened for the most part. They met once a week for a few months – mostly, with Micah talking and Jill listening. Micah brought up many concerns that Jill didn’t have answers for but she knew that Jesus could help her. That was when Jill realized what Jesus meant by “Invite Micah to the Eucharist.”

She told Micah that she didn’t know how to answer all of her concerns but she knew someone who did. So she told her about Eucharistic Adoration. Jill knew from experience that, by regularly spending time in prayer there and pouring her heart out to Jesus, that he would help her with her concerns and questions and give her peace. She invited her to go with her and Micah agreed to give it a try.

The first time they went they spent about 30 minutes in silent prayer with Micah in the front and Jill in the back. They continued to go to Adoration followed by Starbucks each week. During this time, Micah was truly encountering Christ and experiencing his love for her. Many times she would weep the whole time in Adoration.

After a few months, Micah told Jill that she was ready to come back to the Church because she really wanted to receive Holy Communion. Jill knew Micah needed to go to confession and she also knew she needed a priest that was both very pastoral and, at the same time, faithful to the true teachings of the Church; someone who would proclaim the Truth clearly and unambiguously, and who also believed in the grace that God would provide to live by it. She just so happened to know a priest like that so she set up an appointment with him for Micah.

Micah and Fr. Tony met for an hour this first time. She asked him many questions and he gently but firmly explained to her why the Church teaches what it does about Same Sex Attraction.

But he also told her that Christ would never ask something of her that he wouldn’t give her the grace for and that he would be with her in the sacraments and prayer to strengthen her and help her to carry this cross; and that eventually she would experience joy and peace by living in fidelity to Christ and his Church.

He explained that her suffering was redemptive and that it was a means of uniting her deeply to Christ and could also be used as a prayer of intercession for other people. This concept was hard for her to understand at this time but it greatly intrigued her.

At the end of the confession, however, He told her that he could not give her absolution until she was ready to give up this sin.

She told him that she was not ready to do that.

Fr. Tony sat there for a while and then he asked her if she could promise that she would at least try.

She said she could promise that.

He then gave her the following advice: He told her that in order to fight this temptation, she needed the strength from Holy Communion and that God would change her desires over time.

He told her that every time she was at Mass or Eucharistic Adoration, to ask God for that strength. If she fell into that sin, before receiving Holy Communion, to go ASAP to the sacrament of reconciliation and ask for forgiveness and pledge to not put herself in tempting situations, and then back to Mass and Holy Communion to ask for strength.

She took his advice very seriously and after several months of falling back into the sin and going to the sacrament of Reconciliation and repenting and asking for strength, she told Fr. Tony that she was ready to give up this life style permanently.

At this time, she joined Courage International.

Courage International is “an international apostolate of the Catholic Church – for those who experience same-sex attractions and who have made a commitment to strive for chastity. They are inspired by the Gospel call to holiness and the Catholic Church’s beautiful teachings about the goodness and inherent purpose of human sexuality. Through our apostolate, people who experience same-sex attraction receive pastoral support in the form of spiritual guidance, community prayer support, and fellowship.”

She has continued to live a chaste life through the support that she receives:

She will tell you that she is happier than she has ever been. One thing that brings her so much joy is that her suffering – the temptations that she faces – is redemptive. She unites each one to Christ’s perfect sacrifice in the Mass and offers it for other people who struggle with Same Sex Attraction and have alienated themselves from Christ and his church. She has seen many people, including many of her friends, experience a deep conversion to Christ and are living a chaste life in fidelity to Christ and His Church. Her joy far surpasses any suffering she experiences!

Return to top of page

Next Steps

Ready to Take the Next Step?

It is not a sin to be sexually attracted to those of the same sex. The Church makes it clear that this attraction only becomes sinful when a person gives in to temptation and performs sexual acts outside of marriage. Since marriage, by nature, must be between a man and a woman, sexual acts between same-sex couples are always a sin. How can we better understand the Church’s teaching on homosexuality? Study, prayer and practice!

📖 Study

“Look at the face of the other.… Discover that he has a soul, a history, and a life, that he is a person, and that God loves this person.” – Benedict XVI

The following is taken from: The Authentically Catholic and Surprising Response to LGBTQ+

Do you know people who are dealing with same sex attraction or confusion about their gender? Whatever you do, do not rob them of the chance to grow in grace and glory by advising them to put their cross down and not carry it in imitation of Christ. Do not condone disordered behavior out of a misplaced sense of love or compassion. As Christians, our mission is to put people in touch with the person of Jesus Christ through prayer and the sacraments. He will give them every grace they need to be faithful to him and the teachings of his Church. He will make many saints from among those who are faithful to him in this way, and saints are what our world needs more than anything else because they show us how powerful His love and grace are!

It is important to help them understand that our crosses are used by God to give us the chance to live by Faith and so to increase our capacity to be filled with his love for all eternity – to increase the degree of glory we will enjoy in heaven. Do not rob people who experience same sex attraction of the chance for God to use the cross they carry in this way. Do not dumb the Catholic Faith down to a natural level when God is offering them so much more!

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, because we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

“I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18).

We All Have A Cross to Carry. What is Yours?

There are so many different types of suffering and crosses that people carry! There are crosses of illness – physical, psychological, emotional, etc.; crosses of same sex attraction, gender identity crisis; addiction, loneliness, grief, bereavement, and loss; the crosses of infertility – just to name a few. It helps me to remember that this earthly life is not paradise – it is a preparation for paradise in heaven. It is a time of testing; a time to grow and to allow God to increase our capacity to love Him for all eternity. A time to live by the dark night of Faith (believing in God’s love even when he seems absent or distant or asleep on the job); a time to grow in merit; and suffering is a big part of all of this.

“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Without having seen him, you love him; though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with unutterable and exalted joy. As the outcome of your faith, you obtain the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:6-9).

Our secular culture does not clearly understand this and therefore does not understand the deeper purpose and meaning of suffering. This is because our society is predominantly hedonistic, meaning that the number one goal seems to be the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain – at all costs. How different is the Way that Jesus taught us:

“If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

Even though, at first, this sounds like a way deprived of fulfillment, it is, in fact, the exact opposite. We are not meant to endure suffering as Christ did with our own strength, so the crosses that we carry become the very means to a deeper union with God, who makes them bearable. This supernatural union with a loving Being, infinitely higher and greater than ourselves, is the conduit of true and lasting joy and “a peace that surpasses all understanding” (Philippians 4:7).

Obedience to God’s Will

From: Obedience to God’s will – TheCatholicSpirit.com

Most of us are much more comfortable following our own will, rather than the will of God, perhaps because we do not know how to discern his will over our own. The gift of our free will was intended to help us consciously and freely turn toward him. Father Richard P. McBrien, a professor of theology at Notre Dame, explains that “obedience … is the radical and uncalculated surrender of one’s life to God the Father who raises up and liberates.” Additionally, Pope Francis states that obedience to God’s will brings wisdom, joy, and hope. Whoever follows Jesus, the Pope states, follows the way of obedience to the Father through lowering, emptying, and humbling themselves like Jesus.

This involves a turning away from one’s individual desires, especially those that are contrary to the teachings of Jesus and His Church, and following the example of Jesus.

From: Conformity to the Divine Will

Conformity to God’s will cannot but sanctify us, since it makes our will one with God’s and, by that very fact, unites all our other faculties to Him, Who is the source of all sanctity. It purifies us, reforms us, and makes us like Jesus Christ. To conform our wills to that of God is assuredly to cease to do evil and to learn to do good. Is not this the meaning of that oft-repeated text: “For obedience is better than sacrifices “(1 Kings 15:22; cf. Hosea 6:6; Matthew 9:13; 12:7). This conformity works out our reformation. What has deformed us is the disordered love of pleasure, to which through malice or through weakness we have yielded. Conformity to the divine will cures this malice and weakness. This malice is the result of our attachment to creatures and, especially, of our attachment to our own judgment and our own will. Now, by conforming our will to that of God, we accept His judgments as the standard of ours, His commandments and His counsels as the rule of our will. Thus, we wean ourselves from creatures and from self and rid ourselves of such attachments. It cures our weakness, the source of so many failings. Instead of relying on our own frail selves, we make through obedience the Omnipotent God our support. He gives us His own strength, enabling us to overcome even the severest temptations: “I can do all things in Him Who strengthens me” (Phil 4:13). When we do His will, He takes His good pleasure in doing our own by granting our petitions and helping our weakness. Thus freed from our malice and weakness, we no longer sin deliberately against God, and we gradually effect the reformation of our lives.

💖 Prayer

Taken from: 30 Prayers for Obedience to God: Learn to Hear and Follow His Voice Fully

Heavenly Father, I ask for a willing and obedient heart. Remove every resistance within me that makes me reject Your instructions. Let my heart delight in doing Your will, even when it challenges my desires. Teach me to love obedience and to walk in alignment with Your Word daily. I declare a willing heart to obey You, in Jesus’ name. Amen.

✝️ Practice

Abandonment to God’s will is not passive resignation but an active, loving surrender of one’s own desires to God’s perfect plan. It is rooted in trust, humility, and the example of Christ and Mary.

Practical Steps:

Pray the Prayer of Surrender

Prayer of Surrender Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, My memory, my understanding And my entire will, All I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me. Amen.

(from Catholic Prayer of Surrender)

Practice Discernment

Obedience to God’s will begins with listening to His voice. Brother Lawrence taught that the heart must be “empty of all other things” so God can be its only Master. (from:TheCatholicSpirit.com)

Spend time in prayer, meditation, and Scripture to discern His will, and align your choices with that guidance.

Embrace Holy Abandonment

Holy abandonment is surrendering your will to God’s will out of total love and trust (from Catholic Link » Resources for the New Evangelization). It means:

Letting go of attachments to personal goals or outcomes.
Trusting God’s providence even when circumstances are unclear.
Consenting to His wisdom in permitting difficult events…

(from How to Practice Abandonment – Catholic Exchange).

Follow Christ’s Example

Christ’s prayer in Gethsemane shows the depth of surrender. Catholics are called to imitate this by offering their lives to God’s plan, even in suffering (from www.prayerprompt.org). “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done” (Matthew 26:42).

Seek Mary’s Guidance

Mary instructed the stewards of the wedding at Cana: “Do whatever he tells you” (John 2:5). Praying to her for protection and guidance can help you stay focused on Jesus’ will.

(from: TheCatholicSpirit.com).

Live in Obedience to God in All Events

True holiness is fidelity to God’s plan, whether good or bad [things happen]. After doing all you can, trust God’s hidden wisdom and let go, knowing He orders all things for good (Romans 8:28).

Daily Spiritual Practices

Morning and evening prayer to unite your will with God’s.
Scripture reflection to strengthen trust in His providence.
Confession and Eucharist to renew your openness to God’s will.
Silence and presence with God to empty your heart and receive His guidance

(from: TheCatholicSpirit.com).

In summary: Abandonment to God’s will is a daily choice to trust, listen, and align your life with His plan. It is nurtured through prayer, discernment, imitation of Christ, and openness to His guidance. This surrender is not defeat—it is the path to true freedom and holiness

( from: ways for Catholics to abandon my will and be obedient to God – Search)

Return to top of page

Hungry for More

Moral Authority

Scripture References

Catechism References

Vatican Documents

​Return to top of page

Making the Connection

A Real-Life Example

Further Reading

Additional Reading Materials

Next Steps

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Return to top of page