Quick Links: Letter, Hungry for More, Moral Authority, Making the Connection, Further Reading, Next Steps

Hungry for More

It is perfectly normal and healthy to be attracted to those of our same sex. Friendship is founded on it. We think of the famous “Inklings,” the friends of C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. They simply loved male companionship and admired one another. We see the same thing in Scripture with David and Jonathan, and with Jesus and His twelve disciples. One problem in our society is that men are not able/willing to be part of true brotherhood, where they can be accountable to one another and encourage each other to live lives worthy of Christ. Women seem more natural at same-sex relationships, but given the pressure towards individualism in our culture, they too need to be intentional in building strong feminine relationships.

Personally, I admire men who are “masculine,” the “man’s man” sort of man. It may seem strange to say that with my closest male friends, I express my deep appreciation for them by physically pounding on them (lightly) with my fists or hugging them. I guess this is a throwback to childhood playfulness and wrestling around with friends. I realize that not all men are as physically expressive as I am. I also realize that for some men, this attraction spills over to sexual attraction and the temptation to become sexually intimate. This is not a sin in and of itself. I find myself sexually attracted to women; this is not a sin in and of itself. In both cases, strict boundaries must be maintained, or chaos will ensue.

CCC 2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Homosexuality is probably as old as “historical man” after the fall.

CCC 2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.”142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

Same-sex romance leading to “marriage” would have been unknown in ancient civilizations. For instance, in the Greco-Roman world, male homosexual acts were usually done in the context of male dominance of one kind or another. Often, it was in the way of a man responsible for the education and/or training for war of a young boy in return for sexual favors. Rape also was common to express dominance. It was not generally “romanticized” as it is in our culture.

One might argue that in our present-day culture, we have advanced beyond such crude dominance. However, sex outside of marriage, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual, is still wrong. Outside of marriage, it can only be self-serving and, ultimately, an issue of using others for one’s own gratification, which is a form of dominance. This is true even though it is thought to be done as an expression of love between consenting adults in a committed relationship. Jesus, and His Church, set very tight boundaries for sexual activity. Inside the boundary of sacramental marriage, sex can be holy. Outside of this context it is sinful.

Dante, in his famous “Inferno” describes hell, not just as a place where people go when they die, but also as the suffering people experience from their sins in this life. In Canto XV, Dante puts homosexuals in the seventh circle of hell’s third ring. It’s not the worst place in hell, but it’s not a good place, either.

Dante envisions homosexuals always moving in groups, and if they stop, they have to lie still for one hundred years with fire constantly falling on them. The imagery certainly comes from the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah by fire and brimstone described in Genesis 19. Dante even sees his beloved teacher Umberto Latini, who was a homosexual, suffering in this way. Dante feels much love and respect for him and wishes he could save him from his suffering, but he cannot help him. Again, Dante doesn’t place him there out of spite but to describe what acting out homosexually does to people.

Dante is trying to show how engaging in homosexual behaviors is like living in a hell on earth, where people are always on the run, never resting, and always feeling tormented. Some people might think this is because of how society treats them poorly, while others think it’s because being attracted to the same gender goes against nature. Both sides have some truth to them. It’s wrong that people who are attracted to the same gender are treated badly around the world. However, it’s also true that going against nature will in fact make one feel they are in Dante’s inferno. Here, Dostoevsky is spot on with his quote from The Brothers Karamazov, “Drive nature out the door, and it will fly in at the window.”

Life for all disciples of Jesus is challenging. The struggle to be perfect as Jesus calls us to be is real for all and unique for all. But the trial for those among us who identify as homosexuals is especially challenging to them and their experience. As the catechism explains:

CCC 2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

We must never forget that outside of a sacramental marriage between one man and one woman in self-gifting love, all sex acts degrade to dominance, whether heterosexual or homosexual. Moreover, the Church refuses to define a human by sexual “orientation.” This is degrading to the human person; we are made for far more than sex. This is why the documents of the Church will not even use the acronym LGBTQ+ to define groups of people and why we will not make use of it here in Beams.

Moral Authority

Scripture References

Gen 1: 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Romans 1: 24-27 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. Their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural, and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in their own persons the due penalty for their error.

1 Cor 6: 9-10 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither the immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Catechism References

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.” They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

Vatican Documents

Vatican documents on same-sex attraction distinguish between attraction and action, treating the former as a trial and the latter as “intrinsically disordered”. While affirming marriage solely as a man-woman union, recent guidance, specifically Fiducia Supplicans (2023), permits non-liturgical, pastoral blessings for same-sex couples to encourage closeness to God, without validating their union.

Key Vatican documents and teaching include:

Fiducia Supplicans (2023): Approved by Pope Francis, this document from the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith (DDF) allows priests to offer spontaneous pastoral blessings to couples in “irregular situations,” including same-sex couples, emphasizing that these are not formal liturgical blessings or marriage.

DDF Responsum (2021): Previously stated that the Church cannot bless same-sex unions because God “does not and cannot bless sin,” a position Fiducia Supplicans refined to allow blessings for the individuals in the relationship, as explained in this National Catholic Register article.

Considerations Regarding Proposals To Give Legal Recognition To Unions Between Homosexual Persons (2003): Opposes legal recognition of homosexual unions and urges Catholic politicians to oppose such legislation.

Letter on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons (1986): Declares that while homosexuality is not a sin in itself, it is a “strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil,” but also states that it is “deplorable” that homosexual persons have been treated with violence, as noted in this document from The Holy See.

Overall, the doctrine maintains that sexual activity is only proper within heterosexual marriage but seeks to provide pastoral care and, as of late 2023, informal blessings to individuals in same-sex relationship.say, this adoremus.org article

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Making the Connection

A Real-Life Example

Here we share a story to help people relate to the lessons by example. It may be a story taken from the internet, the tale of a saint, or an illustration taken from among our own church family.

The following is an abbreviated version of a testimonial from Louis taken from the, Courage International website (couragerc.org). Courage members are men and women who experience same-sex attractions and who have made a commitment to strive for chastity.

Testimony of Louis, a man living with same-sex attraction

It has been five years since I welcomed Courage into my life. What follows is a reflection on how my relationships with other men—and ultimately with Jesus—have helped reconcile me with masculinity and with who I am.

Growing up, I felt ambivalent about masculinity. It often appeared reckless, self-seeking, or insensitive. The traits I did admire—strength, courage, and leadership—felt out of reach, leaving me with a sense of inadequacy. I also had different interests from many of my male peers, which made it difficult to connect. Over time, I withdrew and became detached from other men.

In recent years, however, God has gradually revealed to me the goodness of masculinity. As resentment faded, I began to see that true masculinity is a man’s form of love—essential for the flourishing of humanity. I have come to believe that masculinity is not something I must manufacture, but something God has placed within my nature, meant to be drawn out through grace, relationships, and virtue.

Because human nature is fallen, I need God’s grace to become the man I am called to be. Other men—and above all, Jesus—help bring that identity to life. Masculine virtues such as self-sacrifice, loyalty, discipline, courage, and brotherhood can take shape in any personality. I trust that, in His way and timing, God is forming these qualities in me.

To become a man is to become like Jesus, the perfect man. In prayer, I often ask for the courage to grow, to face my fears, and to relate truthfully to other men. This journey has not been easy, but it has been deeply life-giving.

Through the Courage apostolate, I have learned to embrace chastity as a positive calling rather than a restriction. Chastity is not a rejection of love; it is a commitment to its fullness. It protects the dignity of others and allows us to become who we truly are: men and women made in the image of God, who is Love.

Several experiences have shaped this transformation. At a summer camp, a young boy asked me to go tubing with him because he was afraid. His trust and courage stirred something within me—a sense of protective, brotherly love. In small, playful moments—like joking in the dining hall—I learned to take myself less seriously and embrace lightheartedness. Even something as simple as jogging shirtless alongside another counselor helped ease my body shame. His unspoken acceptance felt like an acceptance of my whole person.

That same summer, I came to terms with the Church’s teaching on sin and reconciliation. At first, it was difficult to accept the need for confession before receiving Communion. Yet through repeated encounters with God’s mercy in the sacrament of Reconciliation, I experienced a profound freedom. One emotional confession marked a turning point. In the months that followed, I was able to resist a habitual sin for the first time in years. Instead of turning to sin in moments of loneliness, I learned to wait, pray, and lean on Jesus. In doing so, I discovered a deeper intimacy with Him.

Later, in a basketball class, I faced another fear: my sense of inferiority around other men. One day, I approached a classmate I admired but felt intimidated by. Our interaction was simple, but when he gave me a friendly pat on the back, I was unexpectedly moved. What I truly desired was not his appearance or confidence, but his acceptance. That moment helped me realize that connection requires risk.

The guidance of priests has also been instrumental. One priest, in particular, met with me, listened to my story, and treated me with genuine care and respect. His example showed me that masculinity can be both strong and deeply compassionate. Through his mentorship—and that of others—I began to see what it means to be a man who gives himself for others.

Interestingly, my growth in masculinity also helped heal my view of women. In a ballroom dance class, I became aware of underlying resentments, rooted partly in my own unmet needs. But as I grew more secure in myself, I found greater joy in the presence of women. Their dignity, strength, and capacity for love deepened my understanding of human relationships. Many women in my life have affirmed the goodness of men and encouraged me to embrace my own identity.

Moments of brotherly affection have been especially meaningful. Whether through playful roughhousing, shared jokes, or simple companionship, I began to feel recognized as a peer among men. These interactions, though sometimes uncomfortable at first, helped dissolve my sense of isolation. I also learned that I needed to give affection, not just receive it.

There were still struggles. At times, feelings of attraction or insecurity would resurface, especially in situations involving sports or social comparison. Yet even these moments became opportunities for growth. I came to see that my desire to “possess” another man often reflected a deeper longing to understand and accept my own masculinity. Chastity, then, became a path to freedom—teaching me to honor others while allowing God to form my identity.

The Courage community has been a great source of support. Through meetings, conferences, and friendships, I have witnessed a vibrant, Christ-centered fellowship. The joy and faith of others have strengthened me, reminding me that holiness is possible and that authentic love is within reach.

On a mission trip, I experienced the power of simple, genuine brotherhood. A fellow volunteer showed me kindness and care without knowing me well. His actions—whether calling out my name with joy or steadying me during a rough ride—reflected a love that was freely given. It reminded me of how God sees each of us: with delight and unwavering affection.

In my work environment and in a men’s household I later joined, I encountered everyday examples of good men—hardworking, generous, and attentive to others. Living and praying alongside other men helped me feel a sense of belonging I had long desired. Even moments of play—sports, joking, and shared activities—became opportunities to experience unity and sameness.

Through all of these experiences, God has been patiently drawing me out of isolation and into communion. I have come to see that I do not need to grasp at others to become whole. Instead, by turning toward Jesus and building authentic friendships, I can receive my identity as a gift.

Same-sex attraction, for me, was often an attempt to claim masculinity through possession rather than through growth. But true fulfillment comes not from taking, but from giving. Love is self-gift. In becoming like Christ—who gave everything—I discover who I am meant to be.

I have come to believe that the Church’s teachings, though challenging, are deeply compassionate. They do not seek to suppress desire, but to transform it. They invite us into a fuller, freer love—one that leads to genuine happiness and lasting communion with God and others.

Today, I continue to grow. I am still learning to trust, to risk, and to love. But I no longer feel alone. God has shown me that masculinity is not something to fear or reject, but something good, something life-giving. And as I walk this path with Him, I am gradually becoming the man He created me to be.

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Next Steps

Ready to Take the Next Step?

It is not a sin to be sexually attracted to those of the same sex. The Church makes it clear that this attraction only becomes sinful when a person gives in to temptation and performs sexual acts outside of marriage. Since marriage, by nature, must be between a man and a woman, sexual acts between same-sex couples are always a sin. How can we better understand the Church’s teaching on homosexuality? Study, prayer and practice!

📖 Study

In our modern culture, many people challenge the Catholic church’s position on homosexuality, sometimes using Biblical references and theological concepts. Read the Catholic Answers tract on homosexuality to better understand the Catholic response to these arguments. Below is a summary:

1. “The sin of Sodom was about inhospitality, not homosexuality”

Claim addressed: The story of Sodom condemns lack of hospitality or violence—not same-sex behavior.