Letter Nine: Marriage as Sacrament
Jesus is all about family and feels comfortable around our table. Jesus is our big brother but is far more than this. He is, in fact, our Creator, and as we saw in last week’s discussion, He designs everything with a specific purpose. This is true of marriage, and by extension, our sexuality. Jesus is our authority in these matters as in all things, and we can trust Him to lead us into His happiness. We must not forget that He was totally human, a male with all that goes with it. He thoroughly understands that our sexual impulse is extremely powerful, not only from a human point of view, but also because our sexual drive is based on divine passion itself. This divine passion explains why Jesus has so much passion for us!
All powerful energies are volatile and must be contained within boundaries, in this case, moral boundaries. Jesus confines sex to the boundaries of marriage between one man and one woman. It has a definite purpose, to unify in a complementary way, and be open to children. The unitive brings together the masculine image and the feminine image, thus bringing both to a wholeness that cannot be achieved otherwise. The sexual act itself is “holy,” and the “holy” is always mysterious, and even terrifying. What makes it pure is the self-gifting of the one to the other, even to the point of dying for the other. This mutual vulnerability and surrender is sacred and must be shrouded from the view of others.
What makes married sex even more beautiful and awe-inspiring is that it must be open to children. It is a total abandonment not only to each other, but to the children that may come of it. Love in the end is death to self and self-gifting to others. Therefore, sex can never be casual; the stuff our voyeur eyes see on media is merely a cheap imitation. It profanes what is sacred, breaking boundaries forbidden to cross, cheapening us. At the same time, married couples must be playful, because God is the author of genuine fun. We must always live in the tensions of seeming contradictions.
When we consider this, we see indeed that marriage is sacred; it is an oath consummated in unitive mystery. It is designed specifically to be fruitful not only with children, but also in spiritual growth, and ultimately, salvation for both the man and woman as they discover themselves and each other in relation to God, learning to “bear the beams of love.”
Takeaway
Jesus, and His Church, set very tight boundaries for sexual activity. Inside the boundary of sacramental marriage, sex can be holy. Outside, it is sinful.
Discussion Questions
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Are you prepared to accept these boundaries? Why or why not?