Letter Twenty:
The Single State
My Dear Family,
My generation has blown sex way out of proportion. Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, a new mantra has arisen, “I have sex, therefore I am.” We have come to a place where free sexual expression is the one necessary right we must exercise to be complete. Those who do not indulge themselves are considered unfulfilled, or even freakish. Self-control, or celibacy, is no longer in our vocabulary. Sex is now considered a necessity, along with eating and breathing. However, sexual activity is not a necessity for singles to reach their full personhood.
Our fixation with sex is, in fact, a consequence of our transition from a Christian culture to a neo-pagan culture. In the old pagan world, sex was an essential part of magical ritual, an act associated with the fertility gods and goddesses of nature. In our neo-pagan culture, sex has been secularized and completely abstracted from nature and its Creator. By separating physical pleasure from the spiritual, the body from the soul, sex eventually becomes manipulating, about domination. Only when sex is experienced within creation’s boundaries of covenantal marriage is it holy, full of wonder, a gift to another.
To follow Jesus, we must embrace the fact that sex is not a right, but a privilege. Singles do not have that privilege. Fornication, that is pre-marital, or extra-marital sex, is a deadly sin, taking us out of the state of grace. Self-pleasuring is a sin because it is self-oriented and not an act of love. Often this act is associated with pornography, which is as deadly as fornication and, if married, adultery.
It is a satanic lie that sex is simply a natural act that cannot be avoided in healthy people. On the other hand, it is divine truth that our total person, including our sexuality which is both physical and spiritual, can and must be devoted to God. Celibate masculine and feminine spiritualities are very different and powerful in their own ways, as evidenced in the great choir of saints, who are far more passionate and fulfilled than our secular culture can ever know.
Jesus, by His own celibate life in a culture where celibacy was not considered “normal,” has placed His stamp of approval on the celibate state. Since we have His same Holy Spirit to empower us, we can live a life of wholeness and purity as He did. Jesus shows how the single vocation can be dynamic, an adventure into discoveries where the marriage vocation cannot take us.
Yours in Christ,
Father John Worgul
Takeaway
Sexual activity is not a necessity for singles to reach their full personhood, as evidenced by many of the saints. Only when sex is experienced within creation’s boundaries of covenantal marriage is it holy, full of wonder, a gift to another.
Discussion Questions
- Are the 60s to blame for our lack of respect shown to the act of sex?
- If a person chooses to remain single, living a chaste life, why are they seen as an oddity in today’s culture?
- What can we do as a community to ensure that our youth understand the importance and true purpose of the act?